East Village Today on Yelp

Back in March, East Village Today signed up with Yelp. I thought it was time I started Yelping about how cool the East Village is!

Today, I wrote about Tompkins Square Park. Cool, right?!

You can look for it there, or read it here:

Tompkins Square Park.

Red areas are best avoided. The one near the letter A is mostly occupied by drug addicts and alcoholics. The rectangle at the top is a hangout for gang members. It's only accessible from the basketball court area (L); it's not accessible through J or K.

Yellow areas are yellow because they're near red areas. They seem to be where people hang out who identify with the drug addicts and alcoholics, but aren't drug addicts or alcoholics themselves. I could be wrong, though, about the identifying thing.

A - This is the chess-table area. Unfortunately, it's been completely taken over by drug addicts and alcoholics. I've seen people playing chess here, but be aware.

B - This is where the church lady does her church thing. It's yellow because she draws heavily from the red area below. She doesn't allow drug use or drinking or even smoking during her sermons, but why pass through when she's working, eh? Everyone will just stare at you.

C - This is the most popular children's playground in the park. There are two others (S and T, below), but this is the one most parents take their kids to. It has sprinklers and a big sandbox, too.

D - This is called Multi-Purpose Courts. Most times, it's filled with skateboarders, but it can be reserved for other activities like pavement hockey, and then the skateboarders have to leave.

E & F - E is a men's restroom and F is a women's restroom. These are horrendous. Do not use them. Actually, I've never seen the women's restroom, but I don't see how it could be any better than the men's, especially since women don't have the option of standing when they pee!

G - This is the entrance to a really excellent kid's sprinkler area, the swimming pool, and significantly better restrooms. I think you have to be a kid, or with a kid, to get in here. This is also where the park workers are when they're not somewhere else.

H - Significantly better men's restroom and changing room.

I - Significantly better women's restroom and changing room.

J - Very cool sprinkler area for kids. It's called Slocum Memorial Fountain.

K - Not the cleanest swimming pool. It's a bit like bath water after you've had your bath. Kids don't seem to mind though, and as far as I know, no one ever got sick from swimming here. You have to shower before you go in; it's a good idea to shower before you leave too!

L - Basketball courts.

M - Exercise area. My sense is that this is where guys go to exercise who are out on bail and awaiting their court appearances.

N - Handball courts.

O - Dog run. A fine place to take your dog to run with other dogs. This is also the location of the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade, the highlight of the East Village social calendar!

P - In the Winter, this is where parents take their kids sled riding. The hill's not that big, but little kids love it! In the Summer, it's where people go to work on their sun tans. The area under the trees to the left of the letter P is where crusties gather. Crusties don't change into bathing suits. Thank God, right?!

Q - Back in the bad old days, there was a bandshell in the park, but anarchists ruined it and the city tore it down. Today, remnants of anarchists have concerts here. These days, they set up a stage. If you're into this kind of thing, this is where they occur. Also, every August, the Charlie Parker Jazz Festival is held here. It's much bigger, and crusties hate jazz, so they always find somewhere else to go that day!

R - Some years ago, hawks moved into Tompkins Square Park. Some people think they're cool. Of course, raptors are cool, but they belong in the wild, not in a city park. If you want to see them, this is the area to go. Once you're here, look for people with cameras with lenses as long as your forearm, and look in the direction they're all pointed. Keep in mind that hawks are dangerous — do not try to approach or feed one!

S & T - Two other playgrounds. These are both very nice. I don't know why more people don't take their kids to them.

That's it — have fun!

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