Wet Paint

I was walking across East 7th Street recently, when I saw this Wet Paint sign taped to a tree: 

Taped to a tree.

It's time to paint the trees again!

What's The Point?

What's the point of a tree guard that doesn't correct the posture of the tree?

None, you say?

Behold, a pointless tree guard on East 5th STreet:

Pointless tree guard.

As the twig is bent, so leans the tree guard!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #trees #treeguards #pointless

Sidewalk Damage

Even when trees die and are carted away, the damage they leave behind remains.

Behold, outside La Plaza Cultural community garden, on East 9th Street and Avenue C:

Sidewalk damage.

I am the Larox. I speak for the sidewalks!

#eastvillage #trees #laplazacultural #9thstreet #avenuec #sidewalks #communitygardens

Roving Toilet Paper

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking through Tompkins Square Park, when I saw this toilet paper hanging from a tree:

Hanging from a tree.

At first, I thought it was a left-over anarchist decoration. Now, I'm not so sure!

Earlier this week, I saw what looked like the very same toilet paper, this time on East 4th Street:

On East 4th Street.

A long time ago, I saw a movie about an African immigrant living in Paris. He told a story about how back home, they believed evil spirits would inhabit inanimate objects to disguise themselves when they moved among people — even something like a plastic bag blowing by could be a spirit!

Me, I don't believe in such nonsense, but many East Villagers do. If you're one of those who do, watch out for this roving toilet paper — it might be the Devil!

#eastvillage #tompkinssquarepark #toiletpaper #4thstreet #superstition #trees

Proper Trees

Finally, someone understands how trees should be in the East Village!

Behold, properly arranged and displayed trees, on East 6th Street:

Properly arranged and displayed.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

Earlier, I had the idea that all the trees should be cut down and replaced with artificial trees. Another good idea would be if they were all replaced with the same type of trees, like these birch trees.

Can you imagine how cool that would look?!

#eastvillage #trees #birchtrees #6thstreet

Pointless Tree Supports

When walking around the East Village, oftentimes you see tree supports — poles driven into the ground that help keep a tree upright.

These three supports, on East 7th Street, serve no purpose whatsoever:

Whatsoever.

Seriously, what is the point?

#eastvillage #trees #treesupports #7thstreet

Upside-Down Tree Sign

As you know, East Villagers love trees.

So if a tree is in need of fixing, they will fix it.

Behold:

Fixed. 

Wait a minute! What's that?

Upside-down sign.

It's an upside-down sign, taped to the tree!

Let's see what it says:

What does it say?

Oh my God, that gives me vertigo!

Let me fix that.

Fixed.

There, that's better!

#eastvillage #4thstreet #scotchtape #signs #trees #vertigo

Celebrity Bird House

I was walking across East 6th Street this past Saturday, when I saw this beautiful bird house hanging from a tree outside the very groovy Earth School:

Beautiful bird house.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

Wait a minute — what's that?!

Taylor Swift.

East Villagers are honored — honored, I say! — to display this beautiful bird house, built by none other than the official musician of the East Village: Taylor Swift.

#eastvillage #6thstreet #birdhouses #earthschool #taylorswift #trees

One Step Forward

Back in August, I proposed that we remove the trees in the East Village and replace them with artificial trees.

Slowly, movement is being made in that direction, as you can see from this specimen on East 6th Street:

Branchless tree trunk.

It's quite beautiful, actually.

#eastvillage #6thstreet #trees #deadtrees

Conserving Labor

Everyone knows trees need water, even during the Winter.

But when the snow melts, most of it drains away into the sewers, and people have to water the trees themselves!

One enterprising East Villager, on East 6th Street, found a way around this by shoveling snow into the tree bed:

Into the tree bed.

This way, when the snow melts, it will water the tree, and s/he won't have to!

#eastvillage #treebeds #6thstreet #trees #snow

Warning Sign Unheeded

The Lower East Side People's Mutual Housing Association, Inc. building on Avenue C has a warning sign so small no one can see it!

Warning sign.

I don't think this is true. The part about the tree railings, trees, and sidewalks being private property, that is.

It doesn't look like I'm the only one who disbelieves them!

Disbelievers.

In fact, so many people park their bicycles here, space is at a premium:

Space at a premium.

Warning sign, warning sign
I see it but I pay it no mind…

#eastvillage #avenuec #bicycles #lespmha #sidewalks #signs #treeguards #trees

Tree-Theft Prevention

In order to prevent marauding tree thieves from stealing this tree, some enterprising East Villager locked it up:

Locked-up tree.

Unfortunately, some enterprising thief stole the thing it was locked to!

#eastvillage #4thstreet #locks #trees

Tearin' It Up

I was walking down upper Avenue A recently, when I saw this assemblage of signs and barricades directing people around the sidewalk repairs taking place there:

Signs and barricades.

Look at that teeny-tiny lamppost in there — that's so considerate!

Considerate.

You know what's weird? Why would they leave the tree guard in place?

Tree guard in place.

Not just once, but twice:

Twice.

Once again, this is the perfect time to replace these trees with artificial ones.

Write your representatives and tell them: No more live trees!

#eastvillage #avenuea #trees #treeguards #sidewalkrepairs #barricades #signs

No More Weeping

About ten days ago, the weeping willow tree inside the community garden La Plaza Cultural, that was scheduled to be cut down, was cut down.

Here is a sign announcing the down cutting:

She is sick.

RIP? Thank you?

Weird!

Here is what La Plaza looks like now, from Avenue C and East 9th Street:

Whoa — the sky!

Here is the new view of the building across East 9th Street, from inside the garden:

Across East 9th Street.

The lumberjacks did such a good job of carting everything away, you'd never know there was a tree there to begin with!

With the tree down, these signs were now visible:

Take a peace.

Wood chips and even branches were available to take home! Can you imagine having a tree branch in your apartment?!

They should have had a bonfire instead — that would have been great! People could have cooked vegan hotdogs, vegan marshmallows, made vegan s'mores…

Here is another sign that is now visible:

Now visible.

I wonder if the cat died from tree poison, or if someone abandoned their already-dead cat there, and with the tree now gone, it was discovered?

Sure, blame the tree!

#eastvillage #9thstreet #abandoneddeadcats #avenuec #communitygardens #laplazacultural #signs #trees #weepingwillows

Problem Trees

Trees in the East Village are problematic things: on the one hand, they have leaves; on the other hand, they drop these flowery things that make it look like Winter, and cause people to sneeze their heads off!

Behold, as seen on East 10th Street, two weeks ago:

It's beginning to look a lot like… ah choo!

If you ask me, they should all be replaced by artificial trees — this way, they could be any color or style, and they wouldn't shed!

These trees, on the other side of the border separating the East Village from lower-Midtown South, are a good example of good trees:

Good trees.

#eastvillage #10thstreet #midtownsouth #thebowery #trees

The Long Branch

Take a look at the bottom branch of this tree inside Tompkins Square Park:

Too long.

The bottom branch stretches far out to the side in order that a few clumps of leaves at the end of it can get sunlight — it's almost as long as the tree is tall!

The Parks Department should cut that branch. It's grossly inefficient!

#eastvillage #trees #tompkinssquarepark

Doomed Trees

I don't think I'm going out on a limb (heh heh heh) to say that this group of trees somewhat-recently-planted in Tompkins Square Park is doomed.

Doomed, I say.

Doomed!

Doomed.

For one thing, they're too close together — they will battle each other for necessary light and soil nutrients.

For another, they're too close to an existing tree that looms over them (looms, I say!), robbing them of necessary light and soil nutrients.

Looms.

It's a gloomy prognosis, I know.

Gloomy!

#eastvillage #trees #tompkinssquarepark #doomed

Countdown to Treemageddon

While not an occasion for communing with one's inner goddess, the imminent demise of a weeping willow tree in La Plaza Cultural community garden, on Avenue C and East 9th Street, cannot pass unnoticed at East Village Today.

Here is probably the last picture of the doomed weeping willow tree with a chair in front of it:

Weeping willow tree with chair.

Here is probably the last picture of the doomed weeping willow tree with someone sleeping under it:

Weeping willow tree with sleeper.

East Village Today will follow events here as they take place.

#eastvillage #9thstreet #avenuec #communitygardens #laplazacultural #treemageddon #trees

The Grand Illusion

I don't know why someone wrote "The Grand Illusion" on this tree, beside this birdcage on East 4th Street:

The Grand Illusion.

Maybe there's no connection — maybe it was written before the birdcage appeared?

More importantly: Where is the bird?!

#eastvillage #4thstreet #birdcages #trees

Roots Rock Sidewalk

Apart from the run-down look brought about by century-old tenement buildings, East Villagers must also contend with damage to sidewalks caused by tree roots.

One such example can be seen here, on Avenue A:

Tree-root damage.

This is a unique example: Instead of breaking up the sidewalk into pieces, these roots lift it in its entirety!

#eastvillage #avenuea #roots #sidewalks #trees