Secret Messages

Whoa, Nelly — I've been away for a while!

Not away, exactly, just not posting. I have been taking pictures though, and even uploading them to this site, for future use.

This is one of them:

One of them.

It's a secret message, written on an envelope, and left in an unassuming place: beside a bicycle lock on a tree-guard railing on East 7th Street.

That's a pretty clever way of delivering a message!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #bicyclelocks #treeguards

What's The Point?

What's the point of a tree guard that doesn't correct the posture of the tree?

None, you say?

Behold, a pointless tree guard on East 5th STreet:

Pointless tree guard.

As the twig is bent, so leans the tree guard!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #trees #treeguards #pointless

Leaning Tree Guard

Just like the tree supports on East 7th Street, this tree guard on East 5th Street is pointless:

Pointless tree guard.

As the tree is bent, so grows the tree guard!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #leanytrees #treeguards

Widened Tree Bed

Speaking of widened tree beds, here is another, also on East 6th Street:

Another widened tree bed.

It looks like the City went around widening tree beds in the East Village, and while some East 6th Streeters couldn't be bothered with altering or replacing their tree guard, others could.

In their own way.

#eastvillage #6thstreet #treebeds #treeguards

Yet Another Amazing Dog

Dogs in the East Village learn quickly. When they see one dog balancing its poop on a tree guard, they have to do it too!

First there was this, then this.

Now there's this, on East 4th Street Street:

Balancing dog poop.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

What's next from these amazing dogs?!

#eastvillage #dogpoop #4thstreet #treeguards #amazingdogs

Sick Tree Guard

You can say a lot of things about the tree guards in the East Village, but only one of them can be called "sick"!

In case you were wondering which one, it's this one, on East 7th Street:

Sick tree guard.

It's very likely that one or more local ams focussed these decks.

I just wonder if they'll be able to land a slide off this ledge?

That would be rad!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #am #deck #focus #land #ledge #local #rad #skateboards #slide #treeguards

Another Amazing Dog

Everywhere you go in the East Village these days, signs of Spring can be found.

Here are some daffodil buds, budding up in a tree bed on Avenue C:

Budding.

Wait a minute — what is that?!

Balancing dog poop.

It's double-decker dog poop, balancing on the tree guard!

What an amazing dog.

#eastvillage #avenuec #daffodilbuds #dogpoop #spring #treebeds #treeguards #amazingdogs

Warning Sign Unheeded

The Lower East Side People's Mutual Housing Association, Inc. building on Avenue C has a warning sign so small no one can see it!

Warning sign.

I don't think this is true. The part about the tree railings, trees, and sidewalks being private property, that is.

It doesn't look like I'm the only one who disbelieves them!

Disbelievers.

In fact, so many people park their bicycles here, space is at a premium:

Space at a premium.

Warning sign, warning sign
I see it but I pay it no mind…

#eastvillage #avenuec #bicycles #lespmha #sidewalks #signs #treeguards #trees

No Bike Parking

If you were thinking of parking your bicycle here, on East 7th Street, you better think again:

Think again.

I'm not sure what, if anything, would happen if you did park here — East Villagers' barks are oftentimes worse than their bites.

Someone should park their bicycle here and let me know!

#eastvillage #nobikeparking #treebeds #signs #treeguards

Strange Tree Guard

It will come as no surprise to regular readers of East Village Today: tree guards in the East Village are strange.

This one, on East 6th Street, is no exception:

No exception.

It exists on one side of the tree only, and is easily twice the height it needs to be.

What is the point?

#eastvillage #treeguards #6thstreet

Amazing Dog

Everywhere you go in the East Village these days, signs of Spring can be found.

Here are some daffodil buds, budding up in a tree bed on East 4th Street:

Budding up.

Wait a minute — what is that?!

Balancing dog poop.

It's dog poop, balancing on the tree guard!

What an amazing dog.

#eastvillage #4thstreet #daffodilbuds #dogpoop #spring #treebeds #treeguards #amazingdogs

Tearin' It Up

I was walking down upper Avenue A recently, when I saw this assemblage of signs and barricades directing people around the sidewalk repairs taking place there:

Signs and barricades.

Look at that teeny-tiny lamppost in there — that's so considerate!

Considerate.

You know what's weird? Why would they leave the tree guard in place?

Tree guard in place.

Not just once, but twice:

Twice.

Once again, this is the perfect time to replace these trees with artificial ones.

Write your representatives and tell them: No more live trees!

#eastvillage #avenuea #trees #treeguards #sidewalkrepairs #barricades #signs

More Tree Guards

East 4th Street has some of the most curious tree guards in all of the East Village!

Here is one:

Tree guard.

Was the tree guard made too small, or was the cut in the sidewalk made too large? And why are there only three sides to it?

Here is another, that looks like a cemetery fence:

Cemetery fence.

It even has a gate!

Gate.

Now that The City is finished refurbishing our curbs, I think their next project should be to remove all tree guards in the East Village, and replace them with new, identical ones!

That would be so cool.

#eastvillage #4thstreet #treeguards

Weldy-Sculpture Tree Guard

There are parts of the East Village where you can still see remnants of the days when any two objects welded together were a sculpture.

This is one of them, a tree guard on East 3rd Street:

Weldy-sculpture tree guard.

No need for signs here, appealing to dog owners to pick up the poop!

#eastvillage #treeguards #sculptures #welding #3rdstreet

Clever Discardation

Back in January, when it was time to discard Christmas trees on the curb, clever East Villagers did clever things with their trees.

Here is one example, seen on East 4th Street:

Clever.

In the grand performance art of life, all the East Village is a stage!

#eastvillage #4thstreet #discarded #christmastrees #treeguards

Bed Frame Tree Guard

Tree guards in the East Village are a never-ending source of wonder.

Here is one I was wondering about, that I saw on First Avenue a couple of weeks ago:

Add caption

My guess is that some artist got rid of their kid's bed frame, and made an art project out of it — what's up with all that litter, though?!

#eastvillage #firstavenue #treeguards #litter #artproject

Even More About Tree Guards

Earlier today, I showed how East Villagers go about stringing up their tree guards to keep dogs from pooping in the tree bed.

These are even odder — inside the tree guard is… another tree guard!

Let's take a look, shall we?

This one, on Avenue A, has an elevated, inner tree guard — a pretty flimsy-looking one, at that:

Elevated, inner tree guard.

This one, on East 12th Street, could have been in my even earlier post about decrepit tree guards:

Decrepit tree guard, with inner tree guard.

This is an inner tree guard without an outer tree guard, on East 7th Street. What's the point?

No outer tree guard.

This one, on East 3rd Street, has no inner tree guard, and no outer tree guard, but it does have caution tape!

Caution tape.

That's it for now!

#eastvillage #12thstreet #3rdstreet #7thstreet #avenuea #cautiontape #treeguards

More About Tree Guards

Tree guards in the East Village are a fascinating thing — there's just so much you can say about them!

In this installment, I will look at string attachments. Presumably, these are to prevent dogs from defecating in the tree bed.

This one, on Avenue C, is might decorative!

On Avenue C.

This one, on East 6th Street, is more functional.

On East 6th Street.

Even though this is on Avenue C, I give this one a D! Any dog can easily walk to the left side to do his business!

D on C.

That's it for now!

#eastvillage #treeguards #avenuec #6thstreet

Sinking into the Swamp

Speaking of decrepit tree guards, this one, on East 7th Street, isn't bad at all:

Sinking into the swamp.

In fact, its intact-ness allows us to see how the East Village is sinking into the swamp it's built on!

Better prep your Go Bag!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #swamp #treeguards #gobag

The Sorry State of the Tree Guards

Back in September, I wrote about a tree guard that was in very bad condition.

Since that time, I noticed that there were many tree guards in the same state!

Here are but a few of them:

On East 7th Street.

On East 2nd Street.

On East 4th Street.

Yes, the tree guards of the East Village are a sorry lot.

#eastvillage #2ndstreet #4thstreet #7thstreet #treeguards