Mondrianish Entrance

I was walking across East 7th Street recently, when I saw this imitation Piet Mondrian painting painted on the front wall of a building:

 

Imitation Mondrian.

I say "imitation" because it's not a reproduction of an actual Piet Mondrian painting. 

If I was going to paint the wall of a building in some Mondrianish way, I would copy an actual painting!

Authenticity, baby!

New Year’s Eve at Two Boots

The East Village was empty on New Year's Eve day this year, as so many of its residents had already flown, or taken a train, or driven home for the holidays.

I, however, am home, at the beloved Two Boots Pizza, on Avenue A and East 3rd Street! 

Sicilian slice!

Two Boots Pizza was also empty, so like a true East Village rebel, I took off my mask! 

Gas Meter Room

I was walking across East 7th Street on New Year's Eve day, when I saw these opened cellar doors leading down to… a door? a ventilation shaft? 

 

What is this thing?

Clearly, some East Village building owner does not want ConEd to read the gas meter!

Don't Drink and Park

I was walking across East 4th Street recently, when I saw this terrible parking job:

Terrible parking job.

Not only is he on the sidewalk, not only is he in front of a fire hydrant, but he hit the fire hydrant:

Hit the fire hydrant.

East Villagers can't park.

Wet Paint

I was walking across East 7th Street recently, when I saw this Wet Paint sign taped to a tree: 

Taped to a tree.

It's time to paint the trees again!

Weed For Sale?

Things are looking pretty bad for East Village weed sellers: 

Weed for sale.

No one was manning this table — no one was even near it! 

Maybe he off getting high?

Tree Riders NYC

Once again, the winner of the Best Christmas Trees At The Best Prices Award goes to the beloved Tree Riders NYC, on Second Avenue, in front of Saint Mark's Church:

The beloved Tree Riders NYC.

Despite ridiculously-high prices everywhere else in the East Village, I bought a 3-foot-plus tree here for the low, low price of $40!

I recommend Tree Riders NYC for all your Christmas tree needs.

That is all.

This is not a trash can

I was at the intersection of Avenue A and East 9th Street recently, when I saw this discarded onion atop a sewer grate that has been designated not a trash can:

Not a trash can.

Somebody needs to tell the owner of this onion to remove it from this sewer grate!

Baby Christmas Trees

Whereas today is the sixth day of Christmas, the day of six geese a-laying, it is unlikely you will be able to purchase one of these baby Christmas trees, previously sold outside the beloved Village Farm Grocery, on Second Avenue:

Baby Christmas trees.

These are the sort of trees you buy, don't decorate, then throw away the day after Christmas, along with the stand, as can be seen in this picture, taken the day after Christmas, on the corner of Avenue B and East 7th Street:

Throw-away baby Christmas tree.

I'm not sure if the chair is from the same apartment or not. Probably, since anyone who throws away a perfectly good Christmas tree stand would probably throw away a perfectly good chair just because a wheel fell off!

The Bad New Days

People ask me, they say “Hey East Village Today, is it true things are returning to the the bad old days™ of yore?”

I tell them: “Of course not, silly! The conditions that brought about the bad old days of the 80s and 90s do not exist today — this is not a return to the bad old days, but is a step forward, into the bad new days!"

Behold, as seen on East 4th Street, on Halloween:

Burned out car.

Here is a view from behind:

View from behind.

Here is a view from the front:

View from the front.

It's really amazing that the flyer put under the windshield wiper blade, expressing shock and anger that the East River Park is undergoing renovation, didn't burn!

Didn't burn.

It's a miracle!